Women shouldn't be bullied into breastfeeding.
"No one demands that fathers damage their own bodies to demonstrate decent parenting." — Elizabeth Spiers |
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As an adoptee, I was formula-fed by necessity, but when I had my son, I was pressured at every turn to breastfeed. I tried very hard to — and often at the expense of my own sanity. The nadir of this misery occurred when I ended up in the hospital with what I was told was a brain aneurysm (but was not, thankfully) and instead of being concerned about the potential bomb in my brain, I was worried about not being able to get my kid breast milk. When I finally threw in the towel and switched to formula, it was life-changing for both me and the baby, and I realized that in the absence of pressure to stick it out, I would have done it sooner. |
The ongoing formula shortage, which I wrote about in a guest essay this week, has provoked a lot of discussions about resources for families in America, the dangers of oligopolistic industries and whether formula feeding is even desirable or justifiable. |
I have friends and acquaintances who've had similar experiences and many of them felt like they couldn't opt for formula without being made to feel that they were bad mothers, and that formula itself was actively bad for infants — "one step above poison, you'd think," as one of my friends once put it. This, of course, has no basis in medical reality, and I suspect that the notion that mothers must deplete themselves physically in order to be good parents is rooted in the misogynistic belief that a mother's life is worth far less than her baby's. |
The stigma against formula especially harms women who have no other choice, and those people are really struggling right now. When people want to breastfeed, they should be supported, and that shouldn't necessitate demonizing formula. In my essay, I urge readers to think about why formula, which has saved many lives and liberated many women, is painted so negatively. I don't think it's actually about formula at all, but what we think mothers should endure to merit being regarded as good mothers. |
| READ ELIZABETH'S FULL ESSAY HERE | | |
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