There's a good reason for making space to grieve.
 | By Eleanor Barkhorn Staff Editor, Opinion |
"I think I want to get a tattoo," I told my husband last week. |
I'm not a tattoo person. I didn't even get my ears pierced until I was 21 years old. But as we emerge from the pandemic, I want a permanent reminder of everything we've endured in this terrible season: the sickness and death of loved ones; canceled birthday parties; two Easters and a Christmas without full-throated singing at church; an entire school year spent in front of a computer. |
I'm afraid that if I don't find a way to memorialize this time, I'll rush into the joys of post-vaccination summer without a backward glance. I'll risk burying the difficulties of Covid, rather than facing them. |
Esfahani Smith has written for Times Opinion a few times over the course of the pandemic — about how to find meaning in trying times, and about how teenagers in particular have struggled. In today's essay, she writes about the importance of taking a moment to grieve the losses of the pandemic. |
"Today, many people, myself included, are eager to put the past year behind them and rush into the joys of normal life that are now available — vacations, bars, parties and so on," she writes. "But if we want to emerge from this crisis whole instead of broken, we need to process what we've lost." |
Backed by research from psychologists, Esfahani Smith urges readers to embrace storytelling as a way to process the past 16 months. |
"The stories we tell about our experiences can have consequences for our well-being," she writes. "Studies show that telling redemptive stories is associated with psychological well-being and mental health." |
Conversely, constructing a "contamination story," one in which the bad outweighs the good, is linked to depression and a sense that one's life lacks coherence. |
The essay includes recommendations for how to use storytelling to make sense of the past year. She also reminds readers that speaking to a mental health professional may be the best course of action for people who are recovering from shattering trauma. |
I look forward to sitting down and writing out my pandemic story. As terrible as it's been, I can see redemption in it: an unprecedented amount of time with my family; deeper relationships with my neighbors; and a job that has allowed me to work with writers like Esfahani Smith to examine this crisis in all sorts of ways. |
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