It's time for a little newsletter game. |
Imagine you're talking to someone who doesn't want the coronavirus vaccine. She says: "I don't want to get Covid, but I'm worried the vaccine isn't safe." |
1. "The science is pretty clear. The vaccine is safer than Covid!" |
2. "OK, so … you're conflicted. You want to be safe from Covid, but you're worried about the shot and want reassurance?" |
3. "Don't believe everything you read on Facebook. I'll send you some reliable articles." |
If we're honest, many of us would probably pick option 1 or 3. They sound like real arguments, and push forward new ideas that might be convincing. |
But those arguments are more likely to put the vaccine-hesitant person on the defensive. |
The second answer — the one that simply summarizes the other person's concerns — is the real winner. It invites more conversation and demonstrates that you're actually listening rather than fighting. This begins the process of making more persuasive arguments down the road. |
"Debate is a lousy way to change someone's mind," said Karin Tamerius, a former psychiatrist who helped develop the tool. "It's fine for persuading impartial observers who have nothing at stake — like judges and juries — but for those with preconceptions, evidence-based arguments feel like personal attacks and lead to defensiveness." |
It turns out that our instincts for how to convince others are often wrong. We approach disagreements like contests, using our best arguments to bat away misinformation and half-truths from interlocutors we treat as enemies. But you've probably noticed these approaches — whether they're used around the dinner table or in the workplace — don't really work. And during the pandemic, it's more important than ever that we find ways to convince reluctant people to protect themselves. |
The chatbot lets you practice a better technique, called motivational interviewing, which is used by health care professionals. |
Tamerius originally developed the lesson plan as part of her political work with her nonprofit Smart Politics. For this version, she partnered with Arnaud Gagneur, a neonatologist and professor of pediatrics at the University of Sherbrooke who's worked to increase childhood vaccinations through motivational interviewing. |
The way to get people to change their behavior, they say, is not with arguments, but with compassion. |
"Change is scary. Our attempts to influence others often go wrong because they increase anxiety rather than minimizing it," Tamerius told me. "Instead, help people overcome their fear of change by listening attentively and nonjudgmentally to their concerns, offering compassionate understanding of their perspective, and providing information only when they're ready to hear it." |
Here's what we're focusing on today: |
Forward this newsletter to friends to share ideas and perspectives that will help inform their lives. They can sign up here. Do you have feedback? Email us at opiniontoday@nytimes.com |
Contact Us
If you have questions about your Times account, delivery problems or other issues, visit our Help Page or contact The Times. |
|
No comments:
Post a Comment